Manly Men Part 2 of 3:Characteristics of an Unmanly Man

Just because you have a penis doesn’t mean you’re a Manly Man. Just because you’re married doesn’t mean you’re a Manly Man. Just because you consume your own body mass in steak, drive an F250 and work as a lumberjack doesn’t mean you’re a Manly Man. And smashing beer cans against your head simply proves the strength of your forehead––particularly if it’s light beer.

Welcome to the second instalment. I tried to point out in the first post that I am writing in rough caricatures as a means of pointing to an issue and having a bit of fun. Heck I think the use of statistics and catchy generalisations was pretty funny in itself. But in case of a lack in my writing abilities or the challenge of the medium I’ll make it explicit: I’m writing in very, very unfair generalisations––poor guys––and having a bit of fun (a camel through the eye of a needle etc.)

Previously, I suggested there was a problem in the Australian church because only 39% of people in it are males. This episode of the Manlyfesto highlights some of the characteristics of the Unmanly Man. You may know him and you may even be him. The list is in no way exhaustive so please feel free to add your characteristics or one’s you’ve observed below.


Some Characteristics of an Unmanly Man:

He’s an ordinary theologian | This guy’s problems start with theology––he doesn’t know the God of the bible. He thinks theology is something done in abstraction from the world of work, family, relationships and study. He might even take pride in theological illiteracy. Mate, you don’t get a medal for not being able to explain what you believe, why you believe it and how it affects your life…

He thinks sin ain’t so bad | Sin is something to be managed, tolerated, excused... Oh it’s not so bad. And God is a big God of LOVE! Forget the fact that God’s wrath is mentioned easily as much as hs love in the bible. Wait, they’re connected? He’s more comfortable with the idea of ‘institutional’ sin, which is ‘out there’ and doesn’t get too uncomfortable for him.

He doesn’t pray | Crap theology and a tolerance or obliviousness to sin––no wonder he doesn’t pray. God can’t actually do anything can he? And how can he pray to God when he doesn’t have an accurate picture of what God thinks about him? Does he really need God’s help to fulfil his responsibilities faithfully? Does he really need God to transform his life?

He’s a wimp | There’s not much spine going on with this guy. His default action is always the safe option. Don’t look to him for the courage it takes to fight for a family or the gospel. He could be too busy idolising his feelings to figure out that there are times when he needs to put his balls on the line.

He avoids | Even when the problems are screaming in his face he still manages to turn his head and play dumb. It doesn’t matter if its people who have an issue with him or if there are things within his domain of responsibility that require his attention, he can still avoid it. He doesn’t believe that problems can be addressed, that he can do good things–-that the world needs him to––he’s just looking at the ceiling and waiting for Jesus to take him home.

He abuses | Physical, spiritual, emotional––he’s found creative ways to abuse those around him––especially women. He thinks his life is more frustrating than others’ and so he takes it out on his wife, friend, kids, pet or inanimate objects. He’s like a teenager who is big enough to swing a punch and do damage, and he’s just dump enough to do it. He uses his strength to destroy and not build up.

He abandons | No-one understands just how hard things are for this guy. He’s the special case, the exception to the rule. So don’t you dare judge him if he walks away. You would too if it was you. This guy hasn’t reconciled that he can get help, he’s not alone and that his job is to persevere and struggle regardless.

He’s strong before God and weak before others | This guy is willing to change because someone doesn’t like something about him. It’s very important for him to stay with the herd. But he’ll want to argue and negotiate with God. He’ll be careful not to offend others but in doing so he’s happy to offend God.

He’s lazy | He doesn’t have a job because it interferes with his lifestyle. He knows the bible says that if you don’t work you don’t eat, but by mooching he’s been able to avoid hunger as a motivator. He freaks out when he can’t catch his favourite TV show, he’s particularly adept at computer games and likes to wile his day away doing not much at all.

He doesn’t have a plan | Dating but no end game in mind? Taking 17 years of full-time study to get your Bachelors degree ‘cos you can’t decide on a career? Still tell people you’re “praying about it” when they ask how you see your ministry, service and use of your spiritual gifts to build up the church––and it’s been years? This guy has no plan.


As a bloke I find that it sometimes takes some provocation to get my attention and that’s part of what’s behind the way I’ve approached these first two posts. When someone picks a fight I pay attention. This isn’t meant to be a conclusive list. But it’s my hope that any bloke who reads it will feel some of the weight of Manly Man-ness. Don’t resist it. Don’t ignore it. Let it settle on you, agitate you and call you to study, to pray and to God.

So let's hear your Characteristics of Unmanly Men.