I dislike this question immensely, for a number of reasons:
- Depending on what I answer, I’m going to be pigeon-holed.
- It reeks of ‘how about that weather?’
- I am obliged to ask them back.
- I don’t exactly know what I do.
‘So what do you do?’ might be a fine question for someone who has a business card on hand to answer, but what about the administrative assistant who works for an obscure company part-time and doesn’t want to explain what they do ever again while watching their listener’s eyes glaze over and head continue to nod. Or the person who wants to be a successful writer but is currently working as a second-rate copywriter for a marketing agency catering to middle-aged clients.
It’s an annoying question because it forces the person to state ‘what they do’ in an attempt to categorise them eg. Phys Ed teacher – sporty not brainy, Engineer – nerd at school, Check-out chick – popular at school. If you don’t agree with me, try answering garbage collector to this question and watch the person carefully compose their face while they say overenthusiastically, ‘Great, great, that sounds terrific’.
My advice is to make whatever you do sound fantastic. If you’re a housepainter, say artist; if you occasionally tell your sister her bum looks big in her jeans, call yourself a fashion consultant. This is only twisting the truth ala my mum’s Christmas letters that get sent out to friends across the globe every December.
They read: Sarah is currently employed as a writer in a corporate communications business, and is studying theology in her spare time. She has plans to start a small business.
The reality: Sarah’s still on anti-depressants and is having a small crisis of faith. She mentioned once, while eating icecream out of the tub with a spoon, that she should start a small business. Even though she’s 26, she still lives at home with her mum.
Fair enough, ‘What do you do?’ is a common question, and one that I’ve asked before, often intended as a launching pad for further, more meaningful conversation topics. Nonetheless, it gives me the craps. Conversations shouldn’t be formulaic, scripted repartees that make you feel as if you could churn out the answer while thinking about the meaning of life at the same time. Life is short; small talk is cheap. Silent reflection is better than meaningless allocution. Unless it’s humorous of course.
Surely there are more creative ways of getting to know someone.
8 comments:
Sezy - before actually getting to the heart of your post, can I ask a side question: what do successful writers write about? Perhaps more pointedly, what would the successful writer who created this post in the first place like to be writing about. Now...and in the future?
anyone have any alternatives to "so, what do you do?"
How about:
1. When's the last time you ate thali?
2. Would you call yourself an introvert or an extrovert?
3. What shape are you in your DISC profile?
4. In the 5-fold ministry model, where do you fit?
5. Have you ever indulged in an experiment with beetroot?
6. How long have you been coming to Riverview?
Seriously though Sezy, what's the bigger irk, the question, or your answer to it?
DAMMIT I just wrote a long comment and now I've lost it. Firstly, half my post didn't come out so I'll just paste it below because I don't want to fiddle around with my less-than-satisfactory technical blogging capacities.
Kieran and Simy - I guess you're both partly right. It's as much the answer that I hate as the question - because I don't want to give out 'what I do' when I'm not that proud of the fact that I'm doing it to earn money rather than because I love it. But I do have a dislike of small talk in general, even though I do fall back on it on certain occasions and it does have its place.
I didn't mean this post to be about me, but I guess it did reveal more about me than I thought! I'd like to write about things that matter (including food) as well as just writing for writing's sake.
Here's the rest of the post:
It’s an annoying question because it forces the person to state ‘what they do’ in an attempt to categorise them eg. Phys Ed teacher – sporty not brainy, Engineer – nerd at school, Check-out chick – popular at school. If you don’t agree with me, try answering garbage collector to this question and watch the person carefully compose their face while they say overenthusiastically, ‘Great, great, that sounds terrific’.
My advice is to make whatever you do sound fantastic. If you’re a housepainter, say artist; if you occasionally tell your sister her bum looks big in her jeans, call yourself a fashion consultant. This is only twisting the truth ala my mum’s Christmas letters that get sent out to friends across the globe every December.
They read: Sarah is currently employed as a writer in a corporate communications business, and is studying theology in her spare time. She has plans to start a small business.
The reality: Sarah’s still on anti-depressants and is having a small crisis of faith. She mentioned once, while eating icecream out of the tub with a spoon, that she should start a small business. Even though she’s 26, she still lives at home with her mum.
Fair enough, ‘What do you do?’ is a common question, and one that I’ve asked before, often intended as a launching pad for further, more meaningful conversation topics. Nonetheless, it gives me the craps. Conversations shouldn’t be formulaic, scripted repartees that make you feel as if you could churn out the answer while thinking about the meaning of life at the same time. Life is short; small talk is cheap. Silent reflection is better than meaningless allocution. Unless it’s humorous of course.
Surely there are more creative ways of getting to know someone.
Sezy - you're brilliant.
Engineer=nerd at school?
Sez, come on now you are the nerd and you know it.
At least you dont small talk.
This post is more to shock you that i actually looked at your writing, heh...
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