What I want read at my funeral

Do you know the first name of your great-great-grandfather? I don’t. And he was still alive only 80 years ago. Which means that unless we invent something incredibly useful or do something particularly noteworthy, about 80 years after we die, probably sooner, no-one will know our names, let alone what music we hated, what political party we voted for and who we loved.

Psalm 103 backs this up: “As for man, his days are like grass, he flourishes like a flower of the field; the wind blows over it and its place remembers it no more”.

For some people, death is simply where life ends. Life is a brilliant burst of light, a bright spark, and then darkness. Yesterday at my grandpa’s funeral, the celebrant read out something about Pop being in eternal rest and peace so we should remember him fondly and cherish the memories. I can partly understand how the idea of being extinguished could be comforting, especially to someone who had watched their partner suffer from the effects of cancer. But don’t we long for something more lasting, more meaningful? Like Nan said with tears in her eyes last Friday, the day Pop died, her 60 years with him wasn’t long enough — twice as long wouldn’t have been enough.

At Pop’s funeral we heard a brief record of 83 years lived. There is no doubt he was a faithful husband, loving father and devoted grandfather. The reality is that in 80 years, the life of Morris Lionel Green will be forgotten. His casket was lowered into the ground (although I heard my Nan suggest it should rise upwards) and we filed past with tears in our eyes. Thirty minutes later, a fresh group of mourners met in the same spot to mourn the loss of another person.

At my funeral, I don’t want a fluffy poem about memories. I think I’ll have Psalm 103, because we might have been formed from dust and will one day return to dust, but this is not where it ends — “From everlasting to everlasting the Lord’s love is with those who fear him”.

“Praise the Lord ... who redeems your life from the pit and crowns you with love and compassion.”