Somewhere in the noise is a song. Somewhere in the cacophony is a melody—a sweet sound. The ensemble is our attempt to discover the rhythms, the groanings and the eureka moments of life amongst the noise.

Sunday, July 8, 2007

Top 5: Cheesy redundant statements of product promotion

You know the ones, you see them printed onto an object, they state the blindingly obvious, they serve no purpose but their attempt to elevate the product to a higher level of design results only in a very elevated cringe factor.

What irks me is that the person who places these statements there somehow seems to thing that we are stupid enough to read them and succumb. But succumb to what? The reading of these statements mostly takes place after we’ve bought them, like every morning when I make coffee in the office and read the phrase on the fridge (see below). I'm really glad we own that fridge now - thanks to the statement. Is the statement supposed to encourage us to buy another one of something we already have? In fact you have to wonder who decided to put them on there. Surely it couldn’t be a designer of some sort; if a designer is coming up with stuff then they are making some career limiting moves.

So here are my top 5 observations:

1. Printed on the fridge in the kitchen at our office: “Ergonomic Spacious Cooling Design”. Duh!
2. Printed on a placemat in the kitchen at the mine site: “Modern Living”. This is accompanied by a picture of a knife and fork. I look at this and I am quietly comforted that by using a knife and fork (and placemat even) that I have elevated my standard of living to be “modern”. Thanks Mr. Designer, job well done.
3. Any cup, mug, etc, that includes the randomly placed words of “tea, coffee, latte, cup-of-chino, hot beverage etc.” as a pattern design. I was actually wondering what to put in this cylindrical shaped ceramic vessel with a handle.
4. The hot-chip and fried food packets that you get from those light-industrial lunch deli’s with the words “Good Food” printed on them. Sorry, but if you have to state it on a pack of deep fried lard, then chances are that it is anything but.
5. A rubbish bin I have seen here with the statement printed onto the bin stating (loosely translated) “Life is better with your rubbish in this bin”. That’s the truth right there folks.

13 comments:

Simone said...

off the top of my head, one that has always got me is the sign on the way home from the domestic airport on Great Eastern Hwy:
'Perth - a city for people'.

Simon Elliott said...

I better get in before Sherri with this one—proliferated on cereal packs the world over:

'Tasty and Delicious'

Sure it might be the same thing at once...but why not take an opportunity to describe another product attribute (ie. 'Tasty and Nutritious' or 'Nutritious and Delicious').

Simon Elliott said...

Just tagging onto your #4 pretty much any generic packaging which states the bleeding obvious is uncomfortably numb. Chip containers that say 'hot chips', styrofoam coffee cups with 'coffee' repeated elegantly...there's bound to be more but I haven't had the pleasure of a light industrial lunch deli. Just yet.

garrick field said...

mate, you can't go past a trady's lunch. bag of oily chips, a mrs mac's pie, a choc milk and a kit kat big finger, its everything your heart and arteries could ever want.

Anonymous said...

if the chips aren't hot is there some kind of legal recourse?

Simon Elliott said...

I think that's a bit of a double-edged sword because the disclaimer prevents you from legal action against burns from the oil.

Sherri said...

how about 'absorbent' on diaper packaging. you'd wanna freakin' hope so! they make it look like it's a special feature.

Simon Elliott said...

surely it's 'super' or 'ultra' absorbent rather than your basic entry-level absorbent.

Anonymous said...

NEW! TEFLON DIAPERS!
Help keep baby clean with these super slippery suckers. And, failing that, you could always cook a fat-free meal on them.

Mikey B said...

Wait til you begin toilet training kids, then they really are teflon!!!???!!!

ToNyAKAsErG said...

my fav is.. 'In Case Of Fire, Do Not Use Lift'.. i always giggle at that.. who would use a lift to put a fire out?

Clare said...

This got me right between the eyes. What those in the business call a "double whammy".

Establishment: Lunchbar
Name:Nutrishus Delishus
Reaction: Excuse me, I think I'm gonna hurl...

Anonymous said...

The gold winner for me has always been 'May contain traces of nuts' on a packet of peanuts. Well folks I would certainly hope so....